A few weeks ago, I just totally blew it. I was absolutely rude to a group of people at a party when I tried to squeeze my fat butt into a seat in a crowded area forcing the people at an adjoining table to move elsewhere.
This was not the first time that I've ever screwed up. God only knows how many times in my life I've done things like this. I was taught at a very early age to apologize for the things that I was sorry for, and even the things I wasn't sorry for.
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. - Matthew 6:14-15 NIV
Since I didn't know when I was going to see any of the people at that table next, I emailed someone who is a respected leader at my church that was at that table, a letter of apology asking for forgiveness three days later. That was twelve days ago and I haven't received a response.
Some slanderous remarks were made against me a few years ago. They came from someone that I respected as a mature Christian. The allegations were derived from misconstrued remarks taken out of context. I apologized for the misconceptions, though not my fault, and asked for forgiveness. As it is repeatedly brought back up, I continue to ask for forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not easy. We've been hurt. Someone has robbed us of our joy and even our integrity. We've been shamed. The command is clear. If we desire the forgiveness of God, we must forgive those who have sinned against us.
As Christians, we claim the forgiveness of God through the death of Jesus for our sins. So aren't Christians SUPPOSED to forgive? Aren't they supposed to be different from an unforgiving world? The answer to both is "Yes". So why do mature Christians and Christians in leadership positions withhold forgiveness?
I don't know. Clearly, that goes against what God desires of us. All I can do is to forgive those who have not forgiven me, just as God has forgiven me. That is the mandate. That is love.
