...a woman in a business suit walked up to you and asked you if you would help her out with some money for lunch? What would be the very first thing that would come to mind?
...a homeless man walked up to you and handed you ten, one hundred dollar bills? What would be your very first thought?
Many times I react to things based on my life experiences, or lack of, over the years. I grew up, unknowingly at the time, in a low income family. Unknowingly because life was good. I stayed at home most of the time to help around the ranch, so I didn't get to visit friends much and see what they had while growing up. I really didn't realize what I didn't have until I moved away to go to college. I ended up as a teacher's assistant at a high school in an affluent part of a beach city in California. Not until then did I realize what I didn't have while growing up.
It started me on a journey to seek out and obtain the things that I didn't have while growing up and then to keep up with the Joneses. It also started to change me and how I looked at the haves and the have-nots around me, and I wanted to be with the haves.
A couple of years ago I was challenged in my views of other people. As part of an exercise, I got to sit in on a tutoring class for underprivileged third and fourth graders in a predominantly Spanish-speaking part of the county. I went in with preconceived socio-economic biases about the people and the community. Fortunately my eyes were opened to the truth about them. Other than the language, lack of material things and living arrangements, there really were no differences between these kids and any other kids that I knew in that age group. They loved to have fun. They worked hard at their studies and strove not to just succeed , but excel at what they did. They were polite and respectful, but also mischievous. They understood where they were in the economic pecking order, but instead of letting that weigh them down, it ignited their desire to excel. These kids turned my world upside down.
If I was wrong about these kids like that, what else could I be wrong about?
So what if you did have a well dressed woman in a business suit walk up to you and ask you for help with getting lunch? I think most of us would think that she probably forgot her wallet somewhere, was rushed to get back to her job or something like that, so sure, no problem. But what if she was homeless? What? Her? Look at how she's dressed? Her hairs done. She's clean.
How do we really know that she's not homeless? Why do we assume that? She may have spent the night in her car, if she was lucky enough to still have it. Maybe somebody gave her some money the day before so she could get a motel room for the night to freshen up. These things do happen. I've been involved with a similar situation. Too often we go by what we see and no more. When we're comfortable with situations, we're more apt to do things freely.
So this homeless looking guy walks up to you and hands you ten, one hundred dollar bills. Your first reaction may be to think who did this guy steal this money from? Why does he want to give it to me? Is this a trap so he and his buddies can rob me too? Why do we react to what we see and assume things?
I once heard a story years ago about a dirty, unkempt and smelly man who walked into a bank with a satchel full of money and asked the banker to hold the money for six months. He didn't want any interest, he just wanted a place that would keep his money safe while he was gone. Appearances overshadowed the transaction that day, but the banker accepted the money and agreed to keep it safe. After the man left, the authorities were called. An investigation was launched but they couldn't connect any crime with the money that was deposited. On time, the man returned. But this time he walked in dressed in an expensive business suit and clean cut. It turned out that the man was Howard Hughes.
Appearances can be misleading and barely scratch the surface to the truth about what is going on. People have a story that we're either too reluctant or too busy to take the time to hear. How will you react the next time someone approaches you for some help? Will you base your decision solely on what you see, or will you take the time to hear someone's story?
Then what?
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