It's now two days past Christmas. Another Christmas in a string of Christmases spent in being single. It's the same for several of my other friends, but especially for one who has just gone through a break up in her relationship. I didn't know what to say to her. It was the same for those that are waiting for God to bless them with the intimate relationships that they desire. I just didn't know what to say to them. Everything that I could think of seemed so shallow. It wasn't enough.
When I think about my situation, I want so deeply to buy into what I've been told in my favorite Scripture. In Hebrews 13:5, God says, "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." He's telling me He is always with me. He's telling me that I am not alone. He's telling me that I have a relationship and companionship with Him. I want so badly to believe this. But there is one thing that keeps me from believing this one hundred percent. I can't physically touch God. Unless this happens, I can't believe it one hundred percent. Reading and believing this Scripture is not enough.
I know God loves me and my friends. I know He hears each of the prayers that we lift up to Him regarding our relationship status. I know He grieves with us for the pain in our hearts and for what is lacking in our lives. I know He wants to bless us with the relationships that we desire. I know that He does not want us to go through life single. My faith helps me to believe all of this. It's just not enough.
I want an intimate relationship with a woman here and now. I want to sense the scent of a woman. I want to feel her soft hands in mine. I want to feel the warm embrace of the woman that loves me unconditionally for who I am. I want to hear the soft, alto voice of the woman who believes in a loving God as I do. I want to hear the uplifting, joyous laugh of the woman that will enjoy each humorous moment that we can share together. I want to feel her soft kiss on my lips. I want to look deeply into her eyes and share her joys and sorrows. Until this happens, it's just not enough.
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